BSF

I hate unfamiliar situations. For example, having to find friends in a restaurant sends me into a fit of panic. I have also been known to cancel plans because I was unsure of the parking situation. I cried the first time I ever had to visit a new church alone. I guess you could call it anxiety and I guess it's due to the fact that I'm an ambivert. I love people and I love being social, but I also really love being alone and not speaking a soul. It's like a battle to be honest. On one hand, I'd love to meet you for dinner! On the other hand, it better be somewhere I've been before (unless we're going together!) or I will most likely have a meltdown and then I won't show up. This outgoing introvert life struggle is real, y'all.

Even still, some of the biggest blessings can come from the most unfamiliar situations. The ones you resisted with every bone in your body. The ones you had to talk yourself into. The ones you hated at first but grew to love because you knew it was exactly what you needed. Toastmasters was that for me last year. I loathed Toastmasters. I specifically remember saying after the first meeting we attended that I would rather be attacked by birds than to have to go to Toastmasters. But, after a while I started to really enjoy it. I was even an officer, serving as the secretary for our club, before I moved to Orlando.

This year, Bible Study Fellowship has been the biggest blessing for me even though it was something I absolutely did not want to do. My sister signed me up for a welcome class and made me go. I was so nervous and wanted to run as far away as I possibly could. I was literally the only person in the welcome class and I wanted to hide. The leader was so sweet and introduced me to my group leader before I left. But, I still wasn't sold on the BSF thing. The second week I couldn't find parking and almost went home. I sat in the parking lot for 15 minutes telling myself that I HAD to go inside. And I went. And I really enjoyed it. The ladies in my group were so sweet and their love for Jesus was so evident. They brought the ugly part of life that most people try so hard to cover up and shared it with us. It was the very first time I've ever sat with a group of Jesus loving women, studying the Bible, and felt like it was okay to not be okay. To not be perfect. To not have it all together. It was exactly what I needed.

This year in BSF, we are studying Romans and what a blessing it has been! God's love for us is written so beautifully in Romans. His plan and promise and saving grace are prominent throughout each chapter and verse. He is working ALL THINGS for our good! I don't always complete my lessons on a daily basis, but I do take a few hours on Sunday to get caught up before our Monday night class. My favorite thing to do while reading the verses for the week and answer the questions, is to find commentary or a blog about those specific verses and read that as well. It helped me so much and I loved getting to read several people's perspective on specific verses.

This is my last week in Orlando (more on that later) and I am so sad to leave my BSF group. I'm sure there will be another group I can join, but here we go again with the unfamiliar situation! I'm so thankful to them for welcoming me so sweetly and showing me that it's okay to not always be okay.
My friend, SJ, has always said that BSF saved her life, and I always thought she was exaggerating. But, I couldn't have been more wrong. I know for a fact, I wouldn't have made it this long in Orlando without BSF and the sweet ladies who welcomed me into their group. I'll be eternally grateful.

Sassy as always,
AK