Friendships.

Friday night as I sat on the side of the road waiting on my brother in law to come rescue me from a flat tire, which he's been so gracious to do numerous times, I realized two things. One, that I need to learn to change a flat tire completely ASAP. I work at an automotive repair shop and I cannot even change my own tire. There's a problem with that if you ask me. The second thing I realized as I sent out texts, phone calls, tweets and snap chats is something that my sister has been telling me for years. {I hate more than anything to admit that my sister is right. i just absolutely hate it.}  It sank in as I finally was able to drive home crying, that I don't have any friends.

I guess not having any friends at all is a stretch, but I don't have many. I'm the type of friend who would drop anything I'm doing and rush to help you in any way I could. I know that people show their love and friendship in different ways, but I also know that friendships cannot be one sided and work for very long. And by the way, I don't want this to come off as me boasting or giving myself a pat on the back or looking for anything like that, because in no way is that what this post is for. However, I do want to give a few examples of what I'm talking about.

I've helped my best friend and her sister move at least 3 times in the 4 years we've been friends.

I've driven over 45 minutes one way after work one night because a "friend" was stuck with no gas, and no money and was still about 30/45 minutes away from college so I filled up his gas tank and gave him money for dinner.

I've driven 2 hours to stay with one of my closest friends for a night because a dumb boy broke her heart and she needed me. Even though I had to be back at work the next morning.

I made the friendship with the girl who was my "best friend" from middle school/high school work. She never did anything but make excuses for why she couldn't do something, or make it to an important event. I drove the 30 miles to see her WAY more times than she drove to me. Which is like most friends I have.

I go to events that are important to others like it's my job.

I give presents for everything.

I'm a professional "sandpaper" friend and tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

I spend more miles on the road visiting friends who wouldn't consider coming to see me if I paid for the gas.

While I'm NOT a perfect friend and I don't always go the extra mile, I do think I'm a pretty decent friend for the most part. Lots of times I forget to call people, or I get busy and don't plan visits, or I go out and forget to call all of my local friends. I realize that no one is perfect, but there comes a time you realize that if you're doing ALL the work, it's probably not much of a friendship. I know I have flaws just as much as the next person, and that's why I hate writing this blog. I'm just saying that I know that friendships take work, and I'm willing to do that. Not everyone is. I've always thought that I have lots of friends, because I make friends quickly and easily! {totally different from high school! i once was shy as can be!} But, the thing I can't figure out how to decipher is the difference between a close and true friend, and an acquaintance or associate. 

I struggle to get friends to come visit me.

I struggle to get friends to show up for birthday parties 90% of the time.

 {ok, the christmas birthday could have something to do with that one.}

I struggle to get friends to invite me places.

I struggle to feel included in general.

I can probably count on one hand the number of friends that I actually have that would be there if I needed something. Only a couple of those people live here in the CSRA. The rest live in Atlanta/Athens/Franklin Springs area. None of my friends live here and that's so frustrating to me. I hate that I have to drive to see my friends all the time. I can't call them to hang out or go to the movies unless one of us are going to drive 2 hours. Not that I wouldn't, or those special few wouldn't, but it's harder when you're far away.

I've always heard the statement "it's better to have one true friend, than all the acquaintances in the world," but I never realized the truth found in what that says until now. True friends are the ones that never leave your side, and always drop everything to make sure you're okay. They come to where you are, no matter how far the distance. Acquaintances are the ones that care via Facebook, or if they happen to run into you somewhere. Basically, they care from a distance. They want to be sure you're okay, but don't want it to inconvenience them at all. 

While I'm blessed with a handful of true friends, and have acquired some acquaintances along the way, none of them compare to my wonderful and fun spirited family! We all gossip about each other, pick on each other, yell at each other, get mad and frustrated with each other, but at the end of the day I know they are the ones I can count on the most. They are true to the core friends! I've never ever ever been in trouble where I couldn't call someone in my family and they come running to my rescue. I can't count the number of times they've been my lifesaver. They let me learn my lesson if I mess up, but they do that with love. I can't begin to imagine where'd I'd be without their unconditional, and often harsh but needed, love that I take for granted daily. Like a lot of people, I don't say thank you enough, or spend as much time as I should with them, but I'm learning and growing every day.

I know your 20's is the discovering years. You find out who you are, who your friends are, what you're going to do with your life, where you're going, and you learn lesson after lesson, and most often you learn those lessons the hard way. As much as I want to say I hate this season of life, I'm also very thankful for it. Without it, I wouldn't grow, learn or make mistakes. And, that's what this season of life is all about.

How did you realize who your "true" friends were?
Hopefully it didn't take you as long as it did me!


XoXo,
AK